Why and How to Prioritize Yourself
In This Post
In this post, you’ll find:
- Does the Term Self-Care Annoy You Too?
- What if You Re-framed It?
- What Does It Mean To Put Yourself First
- How to Put Yourself First Without the Guilt
- 5 Tips to Put Yourself First Without the Guilt
- 30 Ideas to Put Yourself First
- Next Steps to Take Action
I’m Not Really Into The Self-Care Movement, Are You?
For some reason, this term “self-care” really bothers me. It reminds me of:
- An endless stream of pedicures
- A cat licking itself to get clean
- Pleasuring oneself
Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing bad about any of these things, but they just don’t feel inspiring to me.
What are your thoughts about self-care? Do you embrace the term or does it make you cringe like it does me?
For a long time, whenever someone brought up the term, I would shut it down. I would think:
- I want to put my family first, seems like the “right” thing to do
- There are plenty of things that have to get done, it’s unrealistic to allocate time to just myself
- That’s for other people
- I’ll do stuff for me if there’s time left over
I Started To Realize the Importance After I Eliminated the Term Self-Care
Gradually, I realized I was putting all my energy into my kids and into my work, and I was dissolving into a person I didn’t want to be:
None of these were good….
So, I decided to re-frame this concept of self-care, which had a bad connotation for me.
I changed my thought from “self care is indulgent” to “I’m putting myself first so I can be the best mom, wife, friend and coach I can be.”
Have you had the same experience with negative consequences due to neglecting yourself?
How could you reframe self-care?
What Does It Mean to Put Yourself First
What does it mean to put yourself first?
I think it means different things for all of us, and we should be able to define it for ourselves. To me it means:
- Investing in myself with time – I give myself permission to set aside time throughout the day for the activities that make a difference to me
- Investing in myself financially – My husband and I each have a budget line for investing in ourselves. For me, I spend the money on
- Coffee with business friends
- Office supplies 😏
- Rejuvenating – Taking some time to mentally and physically rejuvenate
- Meditating for 10 minutes when I start to feel overwhelmed or irritated, or just need a way to switch gears and be more present
- Meeting friends for brunch
- A quick nap
- I do need to add pedicures to this list, my feet are a disaster
Ask yourself, what does it mean to you, to put yourself first?
What does that feel like?
Does it feel:
- Beneficial to everyone
Or does it feel:
How to Put Yourself First Without the Guilt?
The first step to put yourself first, without the guilt, is to understand your thoughts about it.
- Do you think it’s important to put yourself first and why?
- Or, do you have a belief that it’s not “good” to put yourself first?
To me it’s important because I have seen what happens when I don’t.
- I’m not a good example for the kids
- I lose a connection with my husband
- I feel irritated, agitated and frustrated, which isn’t good for anyone…
If it’s important to you, like it is to me, the next question is HOW to put yourself first without the guilt.
Here are 5 tips to put yourself first without the guilt
- Know that you put yourself first for the BENEFIT, not at the expense, of yourself and others. This isn’t about being selfish, this is about being your best self.
- To put yourself first doesn’t mean you’re neglecting other people. It means that you’re prioritizing some time each day and week to focus on the things that matter to you. The other people in your life (your husband, your kids, etc) can benefit from some alone time too.
- Deliberately set aside the time for yourself.
- Is it early in the morning before the kids wake up?
- Is it during the day when they’re at school and you can take a break from work?
- Is it every Sunday morning?
- Is it in the evening after bedtime?
- What times can work for you, to focus on what you need to feel fulfilled?
- Is it a weekend away once or twice a year?
- Ask for help. Are you doing it all? Ask for help from your husband and from others you can outsource to.
- If you have a hard time asking for help, ask yourself why.
- What do you make that mean about yourself when you ask for help?
- Budget for yourself. This concept of “put yourself first” might involve a lot of little things that are free or don’t cost much. But, it could also mean investing in yourself. Have the money set aside to make those things happen.
30 Ideas to Put Yourself First
Here are 30 ideas to put yourself first. They’re a mix of BIG and SMALL. I hope some of them inspire you!
- Go on a retreat
- Hire a coach
- Go to your favorite exercise class regularly
- Outsource the things you don’t like to do (e.g. cleaning)
- Invest in a mastermind
- Go on regular date nights
- Plan a regular friends night out
- Go out to coffee with yourself
- Buy something you’ve wanted (extra credit if it seems frivolous)
- Invest in a course
- Read a book
- Meditate regularly
- Set aside one night a week to work (or do whatever you love) while your husband handles the routine
- Go to a conference
- Go on a girls trip
- Pick a day on the weekend where you get to sleep in and your husband handles the routine
- Go to brunch
- Find your favorite podcast and listen weekly
- Subscribe to a monthly box (e.g. StitchFix, Trunk Club, Birchbox, Ivory Clasp, Spark Hustle Grow)
- Hire a mother’s helper once a week
- Invest in ways to simplify your cooking (e.g. HelloFresh, BlueApron, Plated, batch meal prep parties/stores)
- Pamper yourself
- Create a vision board (make it into a party with some friends)
- Try something new and out of the box for you
- Do something creative (I love my local make your own candle shop, there’s also a few local shops that host adult crafting once a week. So fun!)
- Hire a virtual (or local) assistant
- Buy yourself flowers
- Invest in coaching, to up-level yourself
Next Steps ➡ Take Action
- Follow the 5 tips to put yourself first without the guilt
- Click here to join the conversation over at The Corporate Moms Club on Facebook
- Click here to apply for your free Strategy Session with me
If you’re averse to the term self-care, like I am, try re-framing it and rethinking it. It’s not about being selfish, it’s about giving yourself some time/energy/budget to be the best person you can. This benefits you and everyone else.
Leave me a comment to let me know how this works for you and which of the 30 ideas you’re going to try!
Did You Know?
I’m a success coach for corporate moms.
If you’re reading this, my bet is that you’re an ambitious mom who wants all she can out of life, for herself and for her family.
But, like so many other moms, you might be feeling
- Spread too thin,
- That you’ll never get back on track to the high achiever you used to be.
- You’re in survival mode.
- You might be feeling like you’re failing at everything as a result.
I can relate. I used to be all of these things (and more). But, then I found a coach who helped me get exactly what I wanted
- Belief in myself and my new identity (one that incorporates but isn’t defined by motherhood)
I help other ambitious moms do the same thing.
I work with other ambitious moms like you to create and execute the mindset, strategies and routines that are required get out of survival mode and achieve your goals, both personally and professionally.
Think of it as a re-set for ambitious moms, like you, who want to maximize what you do, who you are, and all you impact, to make the most out of your life. Do you want to:
- Regain control of your current career path
- Create better balance (don’t believe the naysayers, it is possible)
- Migrate to an alternative career path such as part-time or
- Build your own consulting business
The first step is a complimentary Strategy Session where we talk about your goals, your obstacles and create a mini action plan for you.
Click this link to APPLY FOR your free Strategy Session.
This is time focused on you and your goals, and how to get to the next level.